Bigger is not always better! Seriously….

So lets just say Moroni gave Joseph plates these size (mind you, they’re pure gold):

Ok, he could probably lift it, probably only a couple hundred pounds…

How about this size?

Maybe, he’s purty strong, three hundred lbs?

This size??

No fucking way, that’s gold bitch! Probably around 600 pounds right there! And he hauled it four miles back to his pad and all over the country side? Com’on now! Even like with the power of God, 600 pounds is 600 pounds! And if you think I’m being mean that is the church’s official display, that’s probably a 1/2 ton of gold!

And how did he haul the sword of Laban around?

He may have had a wagon but I doubt it.

And how’d you translate a half ton of gold??? the Urim and Thummim while looking into a top hat?

Ok, ok, he could have just put these in his pocket but there was some sort of breast plate and a top hat but Google wouldn’t give me a very good picture. “mumum smsmsyush” and “uh, you just mumbled something”, furthermore “…and i went forthwith translating this gospel with but a mere salt and pepper shaker”, that is some really nice work there Joseph!

I’m just saying that something made of pure gold is going to be heavy, even if Reformed Egyptian is like freaky hieroglyphic shorthand. Just saying…


7 Responses to Bigger is not always better! Seriously….

  1. Bobby Peru says:

    I’m gonna sport the urmin and thummim at the next Har Mar Superstar concert.

  2. jackmormon says:

    Make sure you wear a top hat.

  3. I hate Jews and Mormons says:

    Do you really think the plates were pure, solid gold? They probably had lots of different metals baked in. Sorry, I saw a fat Evangelical at the Manti pageant with a 600 lb gold barbell. That is the lamest assertion ever.

    Nice pics though

  4. Anonymous says:

    Mormon is way true 🙂 I love mormon as well as God love me because Mormon is the chruch from god!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Umm the plates were made out of brass. Not solid gold.

  6. Anonymous says:

    lol lol lol lets set aside the fact that you are obviously undereducated. (Please tell me that you did not pay money on what appears to be a complete lack of basic functioning knowledge!) But if you want to claim yourself as the resident source on Mormons… shouldn’t you know even just the basics?? Pure gold… um… no… sorry…. better luck next time though. This blog did provide serious humor for me though. lol lol lol WHY waste your time writing this? No job?? No girl?? I admonish you to leave the church. Ex yourself…. You’ll be surprised to find out, people probably wont care.

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