Yep, I grew up Mormon and not just your average a run of the mill “I just attend Sacrament Meeting and split” Mormon. I was a kick ass Sunbeam all the way up to a faithful, glory-filled return missionary. My story probably isn’t really different from thousands of kids growing up Mormon, they were dutiful and fulfilled the standards their parents place on them and once fulfilled, went inactive. Where I may be a little different from your average apostate is that I revel in being a Jack Mormon. I love Mormons, they rock, especially the women, God damn are they hot little pieces. I sometimes go to Sacrament just to check out which MILF’s I’d like to slam up against my bathroom wall during an extended session of Rough Sex. I do pass on partaking of the Sacrament lest you call me a hypocrite. I digress… The real reason for my Blog is to glory in all things Mormon, the MILF business is a future lengthy post which will address the Relief Society MILF in great detail. Each new post will discuss a different faucet of what it means to be a Mormon, a Jack Mormon, doctrine and cultural retardedness.
By the way, I freely use what I call Nonsense Terms, shit I make up that doesn’t really belong in the English language. Cultural Retardedness, I’m pretty sure I don’t know what that means but I will use it freely and you’ll understand. Got it? Good, now lets all say “HORRAY FOR BRIGHAM YOUNG*” three times fast.
*The Brigham Young who banged endless young tail and took all Joseph Smith’s wives when he got shot in the name of the Lord. Hell yeah, its good to be the King.